After five minutes of sitting, you finally look around for the person who is going to make it worth your while to overspend for your evening repast. No one with a apron tied about the waist is even looking in your direction. You look behind you. Still no one seems ready to approach you. Your anticipation of enjoyment starts to dim. The people at the table next to you are laughing at some light hearted quip their server threw out. The table in front of you is having another basket of fragrant yeast rolls brought to them. All around, people are ordering entrees, drinking wine, diving into dessert.
You? Still adrift in a sea of happy diners.
This is called poor customer service. At this point your evening is already ruined.
This is my life's work; to make YOUR anticipated dining experience turn into total shit.
And do you know why? Because when you came in here last time and the time before and the time before you treated me like a dumb waiter. You refused to acknowledge my position as the person who feeds you and you took away my humanity. And now, being the small minded person that I am, I am returning the favor.
The next time this happens to you in a restaurant, wave a hundred dollar bill at your server and apologize for your past behavior. That just might get you through several very pleasant courses with the promise of prompt and attentive service the next time.
There is a rumor that the word TIPS is an anagram for :To Insure Prompt Service. It could be a crock but it might work if you're already a bastard and think your importance in the world is elevated as soon as you walk into a restaurant!!! If you were to enter the restaurant waving that money around in advance of your seating, I might be a little happier to see your smug, self important face at my table!!
